Double Dates
by izukillme
Summary: Freed and Laxus are on a double date with Gray and Natsu. Really, what could go wrong?


"Why are we even here?" Laxus grumbled quietly to Freed, who elbowed him painfully in the gut. The Lightning Dragon Slayer screeched loudly, jumping about a mile high. "_Ouch!_ That hurt!"

"It was supposed to," replied Freed, cool as a cucumber, and continued his conversation with Natsu about why scarves were such an essential part of fashion.

Laxus raised his gaze from his plate to look at Gray, who seemed as interested in Freed and Natsu's discussion as he would be in a cement brick. Which is to say, not at all.

_I feel you, man_, Gray mouthed at him when he caught him staring. Laxus nodded slightly, not wanting Freed to notice.

_What are we even doing here? _he mouthed back discreetly.

Gray lifted his shoulders a fraction of an inch. _No idea._

"Cut it _out_, you two!" Freed shouted threateningly, slamming his hands down on the table. Laxus shivered a little, blood draining from his cheeks (and rushing promptly to another place which he prefers not be mentioned here, thank you very much).

Gray, however, wasn't prudent enough to keep his mouth shut. "Yes, Mom," he muttered, rolling his eyes.

Freed leaned down so his face was level with the Ice Wizard's. "Care to repeat that?" he asked dangerously.

Gray gulped and paled. "N – no, sir," he said with a salute.

Freed grinned like a shark. "It must have just been the wind."

"Y – yes sir," Gray stuttered.

Freed finally sat down and continued to sip at his no-sugar latte, whereas Gray just stared into his black coffee, looking like he'd seen a ghost.

_That boyfriend of yours is something else,_ he mouthed at Laxus.

Laxus smiled a little. _He really is._

Freed turned a death glare on both of them.

Cut to about an hour later and even the discussion between Freed and Natsu, which had seemed like it was never going to end, had finally fizzled out. All of them sat staring at their respective beverages, which had gone cold a long time ago (except for Natsu, who was staring into an empty cup because he'd swallowed down his mocha nearly the minute it arrived).

"So," Laxus started lamely, attempting to spark some kind of conversation and break the uncomfortable silence. Gray and Freed were both history geeks, and Igneel had taught Natsu a _lot_ of dragon history – maybe he could bring up some random war to start a debate.

"The Battle of Fairy Tail was a brutal war, wasn't it?" he blurted, and they all stared at him in complete disbelief.

Laxus wanted to hide. He wished the ground would open up and swallow him, just like it had the Queen Sita in the legends Makarov used to tell him.

Why, oh _why_ did he have to say 'Fairy Tail'? WHY?!

Then Natsu burst into laughter, and Gray followed suit.

"Laxus-" wheezed the Fire Dragon Slayer, "_You _caused that war, and you're asking if it was brutal?"

Laxus felt a little stung. They still blamed him for it – well, it was natural, seeing as he'd pretty much wrecked Magnolia – but it hurt a little. His brows creased slightly.

"It wasn't that bad," added Gray quickly, apparently sensing something. "It's just over-exaggerated because you were – _are_ – a member of Fairy Tail, and that sudden betrayal made things go out of proportion. You've atoned enough, and you're back with us. That's the best result we could have gotten out of that war."

Freed put a comforting hand on his boyfriend's large back, rubbing small circles on it. "I was a part of all that destruction, too," he whispered so only Laxus could hear. "It was my runes that forced guild members to fight one another. My runes that hurt everyone so badly. It wasn't just you – I share that guilt, that burden. You're not alone. But, we're a part of the guild, we always will be. That's the important thing. Not the mistakes you made, but the lessons you learned from them."

Laxus smiled and kissed the top of Freed's head. "Thank you," he murmured softly.

Meanwhile, Natsu was staring at them with a mix of confusion and joy. "I didn't know Freed was so sappy," he declared.

Freed went a million shades of red and screeched, "_Sappy?!" _He lunged for Natsu. "Why you little-"

Natsu's face turned blank. "I'm over eighty, your runes said so," he retorted.

Freed turned purple and went for Natsu's neck, hands making to strangle him.

Gray laughed. "All right, let's all calm down here," he said, flapping his hands in a placatory gesture. "Freed, relax. It was just a joke, you know he didn't mean it. Natsu has a horrible case of foot-in-the-mouth disease," he added, throwing a pointed glare at his boyfriend, who paled a little.

Somewhere in the middle of the sea, a certain straw-hat-wearing pirate sneezed.

"We're not having much fun here, and it's really obvious," Gray continued, a spark in his eyes. "So why don't we do this? Each one of us takes a turn suggesting a place or a thing we can do, and we decide on one, then do it. Afterwards, we split paths and go home after a fulfilling night, to more fulfilling things."

"Not in the mood," Natsu droned.

"I'm asexual," Freed said.

Gray's face flattened into a betrayed glare, which he directed at Natsu. "You were the one who couldn't _wait _to get some this morning! You woke me up at _five _because you were horny!"

Natsu pouted. "Well, now I'm not,"

Gray rolled his eyes. "And anyway, there are other fulfilling things you can do. It's not just sex. Like, I don't know, watch something on the TV, or just cuddle on the couch or something," His voice had dropped when he reached the last bit, and he was blushing furiously.

"Aww," Freed teased, reaching forward to pinch the younger's red cheek. "Gray is so cute. You lucked out, Natsu, unlike me." he said jokingly.

Natsu kissed Gray's temple and smiled. "I really did," he said, sounding faraway.

Laxus shot up, indignantly asking, "What do you _mean_ you didn't luck out?"

Freed laughed. "Well, if we're spending quality time together, we always go out on a date. We never just sit at home and watch trashy soap operas and comment on them, or cuddle, or things like that. There are some days I'd prefer to stay home and relax, you know?"

"Oh," Laxus said in a strangled voice. "Sorry."

A slightly awkward silence fell over the table, broken by Natsu clapping his hands loudly and saying, "All right, let's all think of something. After five minutes, we say ours out loud."

"Okay," Gray shrugged.

"It's _your _idea," Laxus pointed out, putting Freed's words to the back of his mind. Surely, he hadn't meant it. Laxus could think on that later. "You could be a little more excited."

"I could, but I don't want to." Gray said flatly.

Natsu smacked his arm. "Don't be mean," he chided.

Gray rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. I suggest we go to a bar and get drunk."

"_No_," Laxus shouted immediately, aghast. Getting drunk was _the worst idea _when you were around a certain Rune Mage, because there were two kinds of Freed. Normal Freed, and Drunk Freed.

Now, Normal Freed was the regular sweet, gentle, intelligent but also dangerous man Laxus loved. Drunk Freed… well, that was another story entirely.

"Yeah, I don't feel like it either," Natsu added, and Freed nodded in agreement.

"A'right," Gray shrugged and went back to staring out of the window.

A few minutes later, Natsu shot up, chirping, "Ooh! Ooh! I got one!"

They all turned towards him, Freed asking, "What is it?"

"We could go watch How to Train Your Dragon!" he said excitedly. "It's really good."

"Seen it," droned Gray, Laxus and Freed in unison.

Natsu stared at his boyfriend in betrayal. "Gray…" he whispered, tears welling up in his eyes. "How could you watch it without me?"

"We went together, you dumbass!" Gray shouted, throwing his hands up. "You went _thrice_, for God's sake."

Natsu frowned for a minute, then scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Ah, you're right. I forgot."

Gray face-palmed. "You idiot."

"We could all go home," Laxus suggested out of sheer boredom. "And call an end to this bullshit."

Freed elbowed him again. "Laxus, _no_."

"Why not? It's not working anyway," he whined.

"That's why Gray came up with this plan. So that we could _make it work_," Freed emphasised the last three words and shot one of his deadly glares at Laxus, who gulped and nodded.

"Yes, sir,"

"Freed, you're the only one who hasn't said something yet. Do you have an idea or what? Should we just go with Laxus' plan?" Gray asked.

Natsu stamped on his foot.

"Quit abusing me!" Gray cried, and smacked Natsu's head. The two began to brawl in their seats, and Laxus sighed. Was it possible for them to stop fighting for even a minute?

Meanwhile, Freed had adopted a thoughtful expression, tilting his head to one side, one brow dipping.

Laxus could only think, _This is why I love him_.

That thought was dashed within a second when Freed proposed, "Karaoke?"

_What the hell?!_

"That's… not bad, actually," Natsu piped up. "I know where the nearest one is, I went with Macao and Wakaba once. It might be fun, and Gray has the best singing voice," he added, nudging his boyfriend, who'd miraculously kept his clothes on so far.

"I can carry a tune well enough, but I'm not as good as Natsu says I am." Gray muttered shyly.

"Shut up, you are," Natsu retorted. "Have you _heard _yourself sing? It's one of the few things I can't find something to tease you about."

Gray looked away, cheeks red. "You shut up," he retorted weakly.

"Everyone's on board, then?" Freed asked, clapping his hands together.

Gray nodded slightly. Natsu hummed in response. Laxus sat quietly, still not believing what was going on.

_Karaoke?! Are you serious?! Freed, you've had some crazy ideas before, but karaoke with Gray and Natsu can be explained by nothing but you having gone off your damned rocker!_

"Laxus?" Freed almost shouted, waving a hand in his boyfriend's face. "We're doing karaoke."

"No way in hell!" Laxus recoiled. "It's a shitty idea." He nodded at Gray and Natsu, who were arguing quietly – or as quiet as they could get – about something or the other. "Karaoke. With those two. How can that be anything but trouble?"

Freed sighed through his nose. "Just… come with us. It might be fun. Plus, I'll get to hear you sing! You always say no when I ask you to. Lighten up a little."

"I like singing." Laxus argued back. "I just don't want to do it in front of… _people_."

Freed pressed his lips together and glared at Laxus. "You're making a scene," he spat quietly.

And indeed, both Gray and Natsu had stopped fighting and were staring at Laxus and Freed, eyes flicking from one to the other as if they were spectators in a match of tennis.

"Okay. But I'm not singing," Laxus warned finally.

"Aw," whined Natsu. "I was so looking forward to seeing him! Laxus never loosens up." Gray nodded in agreement.

Freed grinned. "Laxus is just being grumpy," he said lightly. "Let's go, come on!"

"I am _not_," Laxus hissed under his breath, "being _grumpy_. I just… don't like singing karaoke, okay?!"

Natsu got up and led Gray out of the café, Freed and Laxus following, the latter being dragged unwillingly by the former.

"Do we have to?" grumbled Laxus to his boyfriend.

Freed gave him a look. "Just do it. It won't be that bad."

"Yes, it will."

Freed let out an exasperated sigh and yanked Laxus along with him. "Honestly," he muttered, half to himself. "Couldn't you just be cooperative for once? Drama queen."

Laxus raised an eyebrow. "Oh, look who's talking."

Freed stopped abruptly. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing," the blonde said nonchalantly, starting to walk at a steady pace. He stopped about a few feet from the still-frozen Freed and added over his shoulder with a sly smile, "We'll be late if you keep standing there, you know. You might just melt like a candle, who knows?"

Freed turned red, lunging for the taller. "I'm going to kill you!"

But Laxus, surprisingly nimble for his large size, danced out of the way of Freed's wrath just in time.

"Come on, slowpoke!" he called, continuing to follow Natsu and Gray. "Are you coming or not?"

Freed's hands shook in barely controlled rage, but he stormed after his boyfriend anyway, not wanting to cause a bigger scene than he had already.

_Damn Laxus. Knows just how to push all my buttons. _he thought darkly as he stalked down the cobbled street, too busy stewing in his irritation to pay any attention to his surroundings.

And as a result, he promptly walked into six half-naked feet of Gray Fullbuster.

"Whoa!" Gray yelped, wheeling around to face him. "Freed, man, are you all right? You've got to watch where you're going,"

"I'm fine," growled Freed. "Just fine."

Gray eyed him suspiciously. "…If you say so," he eventually gave in, and trotted off behind Natsu.

Freed's foul mood had mostly evaporated by the time they got to the karaoke bar, nearly an hour later. Of course, Laxus' smug smirk did nothing to help, but Freed decided to be the bigger person and let it go.

It was proving to be harder than he'd thought. All Freed wanted to do was punch that little smile off Laxus' face (and it wouldn't hurt to knock in a few teeth too.)

"Uh… who's paying?" Gray suddenly asked. "I'm… kind of broke." Understandable. That engagement ring that was hiding in his and Natsu's rarely-opened book cupboard had probably cost a fortune.

"Me too," Natsu said with a shrug.

"Me as well," Freed chimed in, grinning wickedly. Of course he wasn't, but it would be nice to see the miserly Laxus shell out some Jewel for once.

They all looked at Laxus pleadingly. Natsu's puppy eyes were dialled up to max power, and the Lightning Dragon Slayer found himself melting under that gaze.

"All right," he relented. "I'll pay. How many hours?"

"Three?" suggested Freed. "That should be enough. It's already six, we can be done by nine and home by ten."

Laxus sighed through his nose and paid, grumbling to himself all the while. A key was shoved into his hand, and he stared at the number before lumbering along the corridors, the other three following.

"One zero six," he murmured to himself and unlocked the door. Natsu danced in, Freed smiling in amusement at the younger's antics.

"All right," Gray clapped his hands. "Natsu's going first."

"I am _not! _Why don't you?" Natsu shouted indignantly, good mood disappearing in an instant.

"Why don't you two do a duet?" suggested Freed, ever the mediator.

The couple exchanged dubious glances. Gray looked like he was about to puke; his face had taken on a greenish tint, and his eyes were wide and fearful as he shook his head at Natsu, who just shrugged and lifted his palms up in a 'what can you do' gesture.

"We're doing it," announced Natsu finally, grabbing Gray's hand.

"Then it's settled!" Freed smiled. "Pick a song and let's go!"

Natsu flicked the TV on and scrolled through the list, stopping on 'Close to Me'.

Gray recoiled. "No. No way. I _hate_ that song!"

"Come on, it's just… two minutes long," Natsu whined. "Please?"

"No!"

"I'm sure Freed and I would be better at karaoke than you," Laxus called in a brief moment of insanity. "You don't need to be so worried. We'd out-sing you any day!"

The greenish tint vanished completely, and Gray's eyes shone with a dark gleam. "That sounded a _lot_ like a challenge. And I don't turn down a challenge."

That was when Laxus knew for sure that this night was going to hell.

Gray and Natsu both grabbed a microphone each. Natsu clicked on the 'play' button, and music began to blare from the speakers.

Natsu had been right; Gray really did sing well. His strong voice flowed over each and every note, gracefully dipping low in the deeper parts and soaring in the higher ones. Each syllable was sung confidently, and his breaths were barely heard. Natsu was equally good, swooping in just when Gray stopped, timing his singing perfectly with that of his boyfriend's. His lighter, higher voice made for an excellent combination with Gray's baritone.

When they finished the song, both Laxus and Freed couldn't help but clap till their hands were sore.

"That was amazing!" Freed complimented, walking over to high-five both Gray and Natsu. "Gray, you're a dark horse! Why do you never sing at guild events? Your voice would go so well with Mira's,"

Gray shook his head, a small smile on his face.

"Ah, I don't like singing much."

"Points: 9/10," said the robotic voice of the karaoke machine.

Gray and Natsu high-fived each other. "Yes!"

"Guess it's our turn," said Laxus noncommittally, getting up and slinking over to the playlist.

Freed made a face when he saw the song Laxus had chosen. "Seriously?"

Laxus nodded, grinning evilly. "It's called 'payback', Freed."

"No. _No_. We are _not _doing this!"

Gray craned his neck over Laxus' shoulder and promptly burst into raucous laughter.

"Oh my God, this is going to be priceless," he cackled.

Laxus smirked and pressed 'play'.

The lyrics flashed on the large TV screen, and Natsu took one look at it before joining his boyfriend in hysterics on the floor.

"I have a _pen_," Laxus began, holding one hand up with a wicked grin on his face. "I have an _apple_!"

"Laxus, no!" Freed shoved an elbow into Laxus' gut.

Laxus brought his hands together. "Apple pen! Come on, Freed, do you really want to lose?"

The look Freed gave him stated clearly that he was so going to pay for this later. Ah, well. Might as well go crazy when he could. This night was going to hell anyway; whatever he did now couldn't possibly make it worse.

And if he had to do this, he was going to make it as embarrassing as possible.

"I have a _pen_, I have a _pineapple_," Laxus sang, completely out of tune.

Freed gave him a miserable look, but joined in. "Pineapple pen."

"Apple pen," Laxus continued.

"Pineapple pen,"

"Boom! Pen pineapple apple pen!"

With a start, Laxus realised he was actually enjoying this. A grin had made its way onto his face at some point.

The fact that he could not actually sing, however, was a bit of a drawback. But Laxus had never been one to worry about drawbacks.

And so, he continued to sing (or rather, _bray_ the lyrics of PPAP).

Well, at least Freed had started trying somewhere along the second repetition of 'Pen pineapple apple pen!'

When they _finally_ finished, three whole minutes later, Gray and Natsu just stared dumbly at the older two.

"What?" Laxus demanded.

Natsu shook his head and burst into laughter.

"That was hilarious, man!" Gray added, giggling as well. "I didn't know you sang that well, Laxus,"

"Shut up," Laxus grumbled.

"Points: 5/10," said the machine.

"You shut up too!" Laxus shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the thing.

Freed glared at his boyfriend. "I can't _believe _you picked that song. Seriously?"

Laxus shrugged. "Like I said. Payback."

"Is anyone hungry?" Natsu asked excitedly. "We could get food."

Gray grunted. "Hn."

Somewhere in heaven, about five hundred people with dark hair and red eyes all sneezed at the same time.

Freed nodded. "That seems like a good idea."

They all looked at Laxus, who was out cold on the floor at the thought of having to spend more money.

Then Freed shrugged and pulled Laxus' credit card out of his pocket. "Eh, it's on him anyways."

"Great," Natsu grinned and picked up the menu card, an evil glint in his eye.

When Laxus finally came to, he would regret ever agreeing to pay for anything that involved food and one Natsu Dragneel.

* * *

The first thing Laxus saw when he opened his eyes were piles and piles of empty plates.

The smell of shrimp tempura hung in the air, and Laxus' stomach grumbled. Natsu lay comatose on the couch, one hand on his belly. A half-empty bottle of wine was clenched in the other hand. Gray had his hands behind his head, eyes trained on Laxus, and Freed… Freed was passed out next to Natsu. An empty bottle lay near his head.

It didn't take long for Laxus to connect the dots.

"What. Is. This." he ground out.

Natsu's eyes fluttered open at the sound, and he looked up hazily. "Oh, we o'dered food 'cause we got 'ungry," he slurred.

"And are you _drunk_?!" Laxus bellowed in outrage, getting up and snatching the bottle out of his hand. "_How do you get drunk off half a bottle of wine_?!"

But Natsu's eyes had slid shut again; he was unconscious.

"One and a half," Gray corrected. "He downed it like water. Freed had two."

"Freed's a lightweight!" Laxus threw his hands up in the air. "How did you not know this? Why didn't you stop him?!"

Gray smirked. "Of course I knew. I just like watching people make fools out of themselves. It was really hilarious, you know; they were lurching and swaying, they couldn't even stand up straight, and then they put on party music and tried to dance, but Natsu bonked his head on the handle of the couch, and Freed just kind of… fainted."

Laxus pinched his nose and sighed. "We should get them home."

Gray gave the two drunk, unconscious men a once-over. "I wish I could just leave them here, but you're right." He rose and stretched, then walked over to Natsu, pulling the Fire Dragon Slayer's entire weight onto his back. "Come on, Flame Brain. Time to go home."

Laxus kneeled down in front of the couch, his back to Freed, and slid Freed's legs under his arms. He laced Freed's hands around his neck, making sure the smaller boy was secure, and stood up.

"La-zus?" Freed slurred. "I – wh-"

"Shh," Laxus said gruffly. "Hold on tight. We're going home."

He felt Freed's head settle comfortably in the crook of his neck, like always. The soft, steady breathing told him Freed was asleep. Laxus looked over at Gray, who'd given up on dragging Natsu home and was holding him princess-style.

He wore the same smile as Laxus.

Gray turned his head, catching Laxus' eye, and they both smiled.

"They're idiots," Gray said.

Laxus nodded. "But they're our idiots."

Gray hummed in agreement. "I actually ended up having some fun. Not that I ever want to do this again," he added, shuddering.

Laxus shivered. "Hell no. If either Freed or Natsu comes up with the idea of a double date again, we do all we can to stop them."

"It's a deal," Gray agreed quickly, face pale. "Let's get out of here."

And both Mages hightailed their way out of the karaoke bar to their respective homes, carrying their boyfriends all the way.

Little did they know that Freed and Natsu had heard everything they'd said, and were already planning more evil things to do to Gray and Laxus.

After all, as Freed said, tomorrow was a new day, and brought with it a whole new host of plans to torture their boyfriends.


End file.
